Feelings~~~

It's been almost more than a month since I updated my blog.
Guess I'm a lazy ass huh ...
Many things had happened during the past 1 month and all is in my baby's blog...

Today I had a strange dream. I wouldn't say it is sweet or a nightmare...
It's more like a mixture between of my past and also my present condition...
Some people kept wondering why I'd get drunk each time I went to clubbing.
Simple, people that went to clubbing is either wanna release all the pressure that surrounds them or they just wanna have fun.

Well, I'm under the 1st option. Why?
There's some past that I couldn't let go and the pressure that always wanted me to be successful.
I know that I won't live up till their expectation...
Being scold and said so many times each time I did a mistake...
It's just too much for me...

I'll always have the heart to do it but I need time...
Yes, some people already did it. Why? Hmm, you all should know why.
I only can promised you but I don't know can I do it or not.
I've failed you many times yet I'm still trying to fulfill my promise~

Perfect~
This song suits my emotion. Just listen to the lyrics make me feels much better..

Something bad happened yesterday night. She called me but I wasn't feeling well.
She hung up the call and never call back =(
Hopefully she'll read this and I doesn't want to go back to my old self again.
I'm not what you think I am. There's reason for every actions and I don't want to stress it out here.

Sorry~